Day 5 | The Agony of Prayer
Taking a moment today to feel Jesus’s heart in his last few days on Earth, has my heart overwhelmed with gratitude for his sacrifice for me and for you. In the prayer at Gethsemane, in Matthew 26 Jesus takes along Peter and the two sons of Zebedee, and it says that Jesus began to be sorrowful and troubled. My heart immediately breaks hearing that Jesus felt these emotions, I think most of my life I’ve solely viewed Jesus as almost untouchable; even though I know he experienced human emotions, I don’t think I fully connected with it until now.
He said to them, “I am deeply grieved, to the point of death.” Knowing grief like this, losing my mom and best friend in a car accident, makes my heart swell in pain knowing that Jesus felt this type of grief, but also immeasurable gratitude that I have a best friend in Jesus that came before me, walks beside me and knows the pain of crying out to God, “My Father, if it is possible, let this cup pass from me. Yet not as I will, but as you will.” How many times I have cried this out, not understanding what is happening around me.
He cried this same prayer three times to God, and while a part of me wants to say God, don’t do this, don’t let him die on the cross; the other part knows the whole story. We are reading this from a bird's eye view, knowing that Jesus’s pain will soon be resurrected and that He will be seated at the right hand of the Father in Heaven.
What would it look like for us to zoom out from our current situation and accept God’s will for our life? To have an eternal mindset anchored by Heaven? To trust God fully with our whole story, even when we can’t see it. Jesus wanted him to take this away, but He accepted for God’s will to be done and trusted God knew what he was doing. It’s easier said than done in our human minds, but we are not alone, we have the Holy Spirit with us to help us through our Earthly days.
Dear Jesus, thank you for your example, thank you for your sacrifice, thank you for grieving with me as I go through life circumstances. I am so sorry you had to suffer as you did for me, nothing I do will ever repay you; but God being miraculous as he is I am justified through grace by faith. I pray for anyone praying this with me, that they feel the magnitude of your love and sacrifice. In Jesus Name I pray, Amen.
Further Reading, Matthew 26: 36-46